Logan Trapmann

(I know, the right side wasn't colored in next to the wing, my apologies)

Name: Logan Trapmann
Age: Unknown (Roughly 40 years old)
Gender: Male
Birthplace: Istaria (Ancient dragon birthplace)
Race: DragonBorn
Skill: Healing Mist/Breath, Fire balls, Flame breath, flight (Can hover, not really fly), Super sight, Super strength.
Personality: Logan is a very protective and loyal DragonBorn. He follows the gods Akadi and Silvanus. Logan loves nature and peaceful forests, he also dreams of someday flying to his great dragon ancestors. Recently he has discovered that he can actually glide or hover about one foot off the ground, this he is very excited about. Logan Trapmann is usually quite calm and relaxed, unless something puts friends, loved ones or anything natural and living (Especially dragons and dragon like beings) In danger. He can find it hard to trust humans but if he does become friends with one he will make sure to develop a very trusting bond between the two.


-Appearance Information: Logan is purple in color and has wings which fold behind his back, he is very muscular and has a vicious look, even though he is usually a gentle giant.



•Build: Muscular

•Weight: Heavy with muscle

•Height: 6'3

•Hair Color: None (Horn is a faded bronze though)

•Eye Color: Many different shades of blue, depending on his mood

•Skin Color: light purple

•Clothing details: Often wears jeans with ripped legs, and an old jumper (Doesnt wear anything when alone, he is very natural and likes his space)

•All other appearance information: The horn on his snout is very sharp and heavy, easily capible of killing someone is handled wrongly. Also his teeth are gold.

• Favored weapon: His long, shiny, black claws of doom!! >


Alignment: Good (Mostly)
Deity: Akadi, Silvanus


Current Task:
Only to live, and enjoy it.

Inventory:
Nothing but a couple of leaves for healing mist and some special stones to light up the coal in the back of his throat for flame.

You... Have heard of Deviant Art.

huh?

It's a website where you can search for pictures. A lot of us use it for characters.

oh, yeah i know it-im making a new one anyway

I love that dragon.. not being sarcastic, it looks awesome.

thnx

so... will i be accepted?

Hard to say. Going to need some more community feedback first.

Well, if you insist on keeping that picture, I guess I can get underway.

First off, I've never heard of Istaria. The Wastes and the mountains North of Sida are popular birthplaces for dragonborn, but if you insist on this Istaria, speak to Pat about having a lore page written for the place.

Next would be Dragonborn. Dragonborn seem to have proven to have a smaller growth in power than human characters, because of their ridiculously powerful background. Because we've never seen you roleplay a normal character let alone a dragonborn, responsibly or not.

Then of course there's the powers.

Healing Mist/Breath; Probably the one that bothers me the most, because it lists no cons, it just says that it heals, meaning that because we don't know how potent it is, you can use it to clot blood, close wounds, stop bleeding, restore mental integrity, make people happy and even regenerate limbs. Any healing powers are often discouraged because they can't provide any real cons, and support annoying quick-fix bad roleplay. *cough*Brandybuck*cough*

Fire balls; You mean large balls of fire? That are conjured from your hand and released? It seems a little odd when they have no description, normally meaning the character should be able to summon them with ease and plenty, hailing anyone with a barrage of death. Plus, if it's fire magic you mean, then why not simply ask to let your character learn fire magic, instead of just saying the character came make fireballs?

Flame breath; Same issue with fire balls. In addition, when dragonborn in rare cases actually get a breath attack, they only get one, based on their heritage (colour). For example, red obviously get fire, black gets acid, bronze gets electric, et cetera.

flight (Can hover, not really fly); I don't have a problem with this because it naturally comes to a dragonborn.

Super sight; Pointless. Noticing things in RP depend on your own attention to detail.

Super strength; I made the same mistake when i was new here. Claiming your character is super strong gives you the false impression that you can overpower other characters that have been around much longer than you have. Dragonborn are strong, yes, but you can't assume that it will give you much benefit until the character is older.

Overall, this needs a big revision, and until then, I'm denying.

How do his eyes change with his mood?... Oh my. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

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Needs Drakeson's famous questioning.

woah..ok, sorry for everything being bad >.< I meant just healing sickness for healing and trash the fire balls, flame breath also..I'm really sorry but i HAVE played as a normal human on the server before, i was with Pat...also, I'll leave istaria then

Okay, going to go RIGHT from the top here:

First up, image makes me want to shoot myself. Honestly - look, it's okay not to have any artistic ability, but the fact you made it in Paint makes me want to die. Really, if you're going to do art, use GIMP, even if it's just a Good Impersonation of Microsoft Paint.

Secondly, race. DragonBorn? What the fuck. I realize there's no solid fantasy 'canon', but man, I just think that's weird. But regardless, from what I can tell, it should probably be reserved until you're capable of roleplaying with basic characters. I mean, hey, you don't need kick-ass fantasy dragon-people to have a good time!

Your skills are a hodge-podge of everything, and your character has talents in everything from healing, magic, perception and strength. I don't know what Olden's like, but I happen to think that's ridiculous. If your abilities were more focused, related close to each other, and weaker, I might be more lenient. For example - healing breath can only heal burns, he can breathe fire, but not well, and he becomes stronger when he's closer to fire. And ditch the hovering, in my opinion. Especially if your character is a giant - remember, bigger people are less agile.

I'd have to see you roleplay this before I can pass judgement, but I'd lower its abilities significantly. Make it focused and sharper. Bring it down certain avenues - as an example, Isabella Wade is a child, and her personality, character, and abilities reflect that. Or to use my own, Sprint is built entirely around speed. If you're creating a DragonBorn, make him based around a facet of dragons. Just one. It makes the character more distinctive, and more realistic.

As it is now - I say no.

Dragonborn exist as a race, but I would agree on the powers. They seem a bit much, especially for a first character.

ok, I'm sick of being put down, I'm leaving this stupid server, offended and angry..Good bye

If you can't take constructive criticism, goodbye then.

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Rossii reaction / Fail troll

LawnJesus wrote:

If you can't take constructive criticism, goodbye then.

In his defense, I wouldn't call Scalene's criticism entirely constructive.

Sigh.. that was somewhat un-called for, He doesn't know much about olden. :/. Now we lost a member.
I was a fucking DarkRPer when I was new and people didn't talk to me like that.
Except Mack and Geo.

He got offended because he wanted to make a scaley version of a Drakeson character and we weren't completely oblivious to it. If he had a hissy fit over not getting his laughable terms, how would anyone benefit from him staying?

Just move the thread to failed characters.

Psycheandromida wrote:

He got offended because he wanted to make a scaley version of a Drakeson character and we weren't completely oblivious to it. If he had a hissy fit over not getting his laughable terms, how would anyone benefit from him staying?

Just move the thread to failed characters.

Right.
If it was a drakeson character he would have armor as thick as a tree.

Win some, lose some.

Moral of the story, be nice, now.