Sigma

Themesong: I don't have one in mind yet.

Age: 682
Gender: Female. Hard to tell exactly what she is anymore.
Race: Humanoid
Birthplace: Hatchet, an old settlement to the North.
Skill: Ripping people's heads off.

Biography: An insane creature, cursed by an evil mage to feed on people's youth forever more. She lost her mind long ago.

Backstory:

*** While trekking through the ruins of Hatchet, you uncover a diary, in a decaying old house. It reeks of blood and vomit, and many of the pages are torn out.

Entry 1: Dear diary, today I met a great new friend! Mum and dad says he looks suspicious though, and that I should stay away from him. But I don't think that's true, he's a very good person. And besides! Who actually listens to their parents anyway?

Entry 2: We snuck out into the forest today, killed a monster or two, he even showed me some magic, and brought something back from the dead! It's so weird, I've only known him for a day, a -day-! And yet, I just.. lose myself in his eyes, sometimes.

Entry 9: Just another boring old day, spent some time in the bar with some friends of mine. I've been feeling very strange lately.. like my mind is fogged with something I can't even describe..

Entry 37: The fog has gone away now, I feel so much better, like I was born again or something! You know, Mr. Diary, I really do like flowers.. Maybe I could grow a whole garden of my own one day.

Entry 58: I feel like something's watching me, even when I'm asleep. I'm scared..

Entry 67: The past few days have been too quiet, it feels like mum and dad are ignoring me lately.

Entry 97: It.. feels like he's the only friend I have. We share everything with each other, secrets, possessions, maybe even a kiss or two..

Entry 167: He invited me over to his house! I doubt mum and dad will care, whatever happens. They seem to have forgotten I even exist.

Entry 168: I don't remember anything that happened last night.. just blacking out, with a sharp pain stabbing through my chest. I woke up in the woods, it was very late at night. I'm terrified..

Entry 194: I went back to town and tried to ask him what happened, after I remembered where town was. He wasn't home andyeLLOW PINK ORANGE GREEN TEAL PURPLE RED YELLOW BLUE BLUE REDDDDDDDDDDDDDD LIKE BLOOooDdDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Entry 195: What the hell was that? I need to get some rest..

Entry 198: I rAN aAWAy BECAUSE THE MEAN peOple are Trying TO kill me..

Entry 200: WHO AM I WHY AM I HERE?

Entry 264: i dont know what ths plce is im scared i wanna go home

Entry 284: killkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkill

Entry 300: misturr diaree its been a lung time. daddy blud make gud ink HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA

Entry 314: mumz skin keps me warm. shell always b with me

Entry 343: everywun iz ded nao becuz me

Entry 363: fire fire FIRE IS HOT AND BURNY OWWIEE!!! RUN FROM FIRE

Entry 4931507!!!???BLUE: runnd frum fiar, cold now but mums skin still keeps me safe

Entry ??????????: my face fell off oopsie

Entry Pie: sornah peoples taste yummehzzz JUsT liKE PiE GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!?





Alignment: There isn't really an alignment to describe her, Chaotic Evil may work, but she doesn't really know the meaning of "Evil" anymore.
Favored Enemy: Anybody.
Favored Weapon: Anything.
Deity: Formerly Lathander.
Current Task: Feed. - Eternal

Picture:




Okey done, kill it with fire whenever you feel like it guys :3

Ummm...i dont know where to start, seriously where to start man anyone want to tell me

Reanimated wrote:

Ummm...i dont know where to start, seriously where to start man anyone want to tell me

You could compliment her eyes.
That's right, stare into her cold, hungering eyes. GOOD BOI. :]

Anyways, I'd like actual feedback instead of WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THE PICTURE?

** Puts his top hat on and walks out ** Good day ma'am but i must be leaving cause...i think i leaft my oven on.

:c

(i'm not a ma'am, im just very in touch with my pent-up femininity)

Oh, and a note to people who find the youth-stealing rather vague,
She'll only take roughly 5 years, more or less off their life, and I'll only absorb players' youth unless they ask me to, or I get their explicit permission. Otherwise, it's just redshirts for me.

Err... Okay.

Why do you want a character like this anyway? Is this your first char?

If it is, then why the heck do you want a character like this, even more so? I can't really see any kind of developement of any kind about this character, since it's an insane monster that apparently only exists to feed on anything and everything? Unless you want only to contribute to the forest danger factor?

Oh, and... If you "steal youth" does the victim age by 5 years? I doubt anyone would really appreciate that.

Does not compute.

Well, I can see how this character can be roleplayed if used well...

-Though its physical prowess seems unclear, seeing as she's old and mentally challenged (as it would seem).

Fuzzy Wolfy wrote:

Well, I can see how this character can be roleplayed if used well...

Someone enlighten me, please. =/

Markka wrote:

Err... Okay.

Why do you want a character like this anyway? Is this your first char?

If it is, then why the heck do you want a character like this, even more so? I can't really see any kind of developement of any kind about this character, since it's an insane monster that apparently only exists to feed on anything and everything? Unless you want only to contribute to the forest danger factor?

Oh, and... If you "steal youth" does the victim age by 5 years? I doubt anyone would really appreciate that.

Does not compute.

No, it's more of a side character.

It's kind of like a werewolf, no? There's not much development to be had with THEM because they're also insane beasts, who eat things/people. Except she's way, um, weaker than a werewolf. She's a little like a really old person, who's reaching the end of their life, in strength terms.

Yes, they do age by 5 years, but like I said, I'd need their explicit permission to feed off of a player character.

And, uh.. Honest? I don't like RPing actual characters, I just like to make up little events and stuff.
Plus I find RPing on an average joe character really BORING, I've always had more fun with monsters, and similar things. I can never find anything to do on boring characters like that, no offense. It reminds me of when I rp'd a citizen on TnB. I did absolutely nothing, and couldn't find anything to do except talk to newbies who obviously don't know what RP is.

Yea, if the char in this app runs up to me and tries to eat my soul, I would just shank shank, burn burn, easily, unless this char is more powerful than it seems.

Also, it looks like this char is just going to go around and attack people, nothing else, which is fine, as long as you don't mind either a TK or lots of nlr.

B3SERK wrote:

Yea, if the char in this app runs up to me and tries to eat my soul, I would just shank shank, burn burn, easily, unless this char is more powerful than it seems.

Also, it looks like this char is just going to go around and attack people, nothing else, which is fine, as long as you don't mind either a TK or lots of nlr.

No, she'd be quite easy to take out. But usually she comes for them in their sleep.

I don't mind, honestly. Though NLR always seemed a bit stupid to me, TKs are usually better instead of just 1.. 2..3.. RESPAWN!

Well, happy hunting in the forest, unless she has some kind of way to creep in the town completely undetected.

Weird as shit.

Psyche/Mack/Krug/Jack/input gogogogog

She could just use the sewers, well thats if she can swim

Sorry I'm late, had computer problems. Where to start...

Let's begin with the fact that Olden doesn't have NLR, because this is a roleplay server, not DARKRP.

Next, event characters goes in the special character section, but you're an entirely new person to visit the forums, yet to show the depth of how you roleplay. Event characters aren't for basic members, and if you find roleplaying a normal character to be pointless/trivial/boring, then you're not roleplaying right. As mentioned before, this is a roleplay server, not DARKRP. Normal characters can grow to be just about anything through development and proper roleplay.

As for the character itself, I see some issues.

Quote :

Age: 682
Race: Humanoid
Biography: An insane creature, cursed by an evil mage to feed on people's youth forever more. She lost her mind long ago.

Humanoid isn't a race, it's the categorization of all races that resemble humans. If this character is a mindless killer, how could she have survived for so long? If this wizard cursed Sigma into being a life stealing carnivore that can survive losing her face without suffering from blood loss, why would the wizard just let her go instead of using her as a slave or for studies and research?

As for the backstory and picture, at the risk of sounding blunt and tactless, it seems more like just a giant joke. The more I read into the journal the less Sigma seems like a person and more like a prepubescent emo/wiccan trying to scare off people with bad grammar and ineffective imagry.

And finally, the skill is rediculous at best. It leaves her physical prowess undefined as a mystery, and most likely doomed to abuse.

It's possible I could be less blunt about this character, but the whole thing comes off as a joke to me. If you see character development as trivial and only events as worthy, why aren't you playing Halo instead.

Psycheandromida wrote:

Sorry I'm late, had computer problems. Where to start...

Let's begin with the fact that Olden doesn't have NLR, because this is a roleplay server, not DARKRP.

Next, event characters goes in the special character section, but you're an entirely new person to visit the forums, yet to show the depth of how you roleplay. Event characters aren't for basic members, and if you find roleplaying a normal character to be pointless/trivial/boring, then you're not roleplaying right. As mentioned before, this is a roleplay server, not DARKRP. Normal characters can grow to be just about anything through development and proper roleplay.

As for the character itself, I see some issues.

Quote :

Age: 682
Race: Humanoid
Biography: An insane creature, cursed by an evil mage to feed on people's youth forever more. She lost her mind long ago.

Humanoid isn't a race, it's the categorization of all races that resemble humans. If this character is a mindless killer, how could she have survived for so long? If this wizard cursed Sigma into being a life stealing carnivore that can survive losing her face without suffering from blood loss, why would the wizard just let her go instead of using her as a slave or for studies and research?

As for the backstory and picture, at the risk of sounding blunt and tactless, it seems more like just a giant joke. The more I read into the journal the less Sigma seems like a person and more like a prepubescent emo/wiccan trying to scare off people with bad grammar and ineffective imagry.

And finally, the skill is rediculous at best. It leaves her physical prowess undefined as a mystery, and most likely doomed to abuse.

It's possible I could be less blunt about this character, but the whole thing comes off as a joke to me. If you see character development as trivial and only events as worthy, why aren't you playing Halo instead.

Jeez, chill out, you don't need to outright flame me. That's no way to get new members to stay, what a terrible way to administrate. ._.

She was a human in the past, and.. shes practically undead. She was enslaved, and released. The bio's semi WIP, and that part is just from her perspective. Her skin was rotting off after she was cursed.

I stated before, she's not that strong at all, she only has an advantage when she takes victims by surprise. Compare her strength to.. I don't know, some old woman's, but just a tad stronger. I'm not one for details because this is the first RP Ive been to, so you REALLY don't need to be so abrasive. Point out flaws in a calm, friendly manner.

It's not really an event character. If that were true, then I guess other mindless animals would also be event characters, (Like that bear character.)

Quote :

flame

To bad that isn't flaming.

Sailor Moo wrote:

It's not really an event character. If that were true, then I guess other mindless animals would also be event characters, (Like that bear character.)

K'eyush doesn't fall under the same category. Mainly because she has a personality beside 'I'm a monster, kill stuff.'

Gambit wrote:

Quote :

flame

To bad that isn't flaming.

Flaming or not, referring to somebody's first app, as a 'prepubescent emo/wiccan attempting to scare people off with bad grammar' and calling the whole app a 'giant joke' is always a dick move.

And to be honest, i'm not really bothered with this character. It's just a side-char. What's the harm? It's all done on consent basis.

Phry wrote:

Flaming or not, referring to somebody's first app, as a 'prepubescent emo/wiccan attempting to scare people off with bad grammar' and calling the whole app a 'giant joke' is always a dick move.

I would have to agree. Criticism should be constructive. I don't see anything constructive about that.

Back on-topic, I would accept this if you made another character that was at least partially normal, and showed us how well you can RP. For now I'll say pending.

The criticism would be more constructive if you actually read it instead of seeing 'giant joke' and assuming the worst.

I did read it, I just wasn't smart enough to understand it.

Stuff.

I'm more distracted by the fat cow with sailor moon skirt and pigtails, to be honest.

Suggestions:

• change humanoid to undead human so its not implied and actually stated
  
• she could have eaten the wizard
  
• perhaps lower the age by a couple hundred years for believability
  
• be a little more conservative with diary? I just get the feeling that as it gets stupider, it loses the ability to use the diary entirely, and the thing would get scrapped on accident at some point. Besides, your presentation of the diary could use a little more work. It's not the number of entries that matters, but the significance of each individual entry. You could have just five or six, and yet, they would convey entire depth of her backstory in gruesome detail. Maybe add a news report or two at the end. Lucy's profile is a great example of 2nd-person backstories.
  
• Please be more clear with skills in the profile itself. It's a measure of her total prowess and skill range, so it's important you provide more detail here.
  
• Alignment would be Chaotic Neutral. It wants to feed and survive and only that (Neutral), and it follows no rules (Chaotic), right?
  
• Lastly, I feel like this is a stretch for a first character. You're free to do something like this, of course, but only after you've shown us what you can do on a normal character, like a human or orc or elf or gnome, etc, the list goes on. Maybe I've just never been lucky enough to catch you on server, but I don't think I've ever roleplayed with you, and I certainly can't find any other character profiles made by you.