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 Solitario "Ghost" Maure

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invadercristi

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PostSubject: Solitario "Ghost" Maure   Fri Dec 10, 2010 1:45 pm

Themesong:"All Alone" produced by Dansonn on Fl Studios 8
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Race: Human
Birthplace: "The Village of LittleStone"
Skills:

Sneak: | | | | | | | | | | (Read why below)

Speech: | | | | | | | | | | (Same with this one)

Ocarina: | | | | | | | | | |

Speed: | | | | | | | | | |

Sight: | | | | | | | | | | | (Read below on this one aswell. And that is LOWER than the usual Humans eyesight.)

Drawing/Hand Writing: | | | | | | | | | |

Current combat/magical skills: | | | | | | | | | |

Biography: Before she was born, her father had a girl (witch) which at the time was almost entirely in love with him. She confessed her love to him, although how he replied to her was a simple raised brow, and not even an answer was returned to the love-struck girl in front of him. He simply walked away, and ignored her since... although the witch did not lose hope, and continued pursuing him, and tried to get an answer which never was returned.

After a few years the man had been married to someone OTHER than herself, and so that night she cursed their first-born to be "Invisible", and with nothing, and no one to see, or hear her, as well to be completely alone. Although luckily for her this curse has a loophole... (which will be explained below.)

After birth everyone was confused as to why there was no child, but the mother could see her clearly for only a small while, before becoming completely invisible. Although when the doctor had patted around the area the doctor had become completely invisible. Other doctors tried it out, and claimed that they were in a completely different world. The mother though had died soon after from a "mysterious source".

The entire thing was top secret, and the father had raised the girl up to thirteen, preparing her for the life ahead of her, and pushed her out of the house to wander the world alone... That evening he killed himself in order to be with his beloved, and so for ten years she has been wandering around with only her Ocarina, and diary... writing down her travels, encounters, and as well as things she wished to remember.
Day, by day she asked herself:

"What is it like to have a friend?"
"Why was I born like this?"
"What is it like to be loved?"
"Why did Mother, and Father leave me?"
"The Curse, and its side effects/Loopholes"

[*]The curse gave her incredible invisibility powers, although the problem is that she can't "flip the light switch", and turn it off. Although normally this would be a VERY bad thing to happen, something else was followed with it. She can't speak at all, and thus it made it even HARDER to talk to someone, although one thing remained... writing down on a piece of paper, and showing it to the person, although once again that was blocked out by making almost everything she touches invisible as well, although when she let the object go... it would regain its visibility. On the other hand, if a certain object was large enough(6'8 feet.), or possible weighed enough(200 lbs) the side effect wouldn't come into effect(So in a nutshell floors, and walls wouldn't be effected.).

[*]Another side effect to this is that she turns invisible can see her as well, although if it was a man per se then he would have to be touched by the skin, and probably a hug to make him completely cloaked, and if per se the man was wearing armor... if she was touching the armor then only the armor would be invisible, not the man.

[*]Another side effect is that everything she turns invisible sees the world drained of its color to the point where you can fairly see the colors... although they can be noted there its just very difficult to see them. Solitario on the other hand always sees the world like this, and from birth as well, and so normally her eyes were a Hazel color, but due to the effects of the curse it is now a light gray.

[*]Another flaw is that her shadow remains perfectly visible, and thus its the easiest to notice her during either the sunset, or daytime.

Inventory: She carries around her Diary which contains doodles of things she wishes to remember, and her thoughts, and also a "Double note Ocarina" with a Hazel coloring(Once again, gray in "Her world".) Click for Ocarina
Alignment: Neutral Good
Current Task:
Make a friend. -On going
Figure out how to break the curse. -On going
Break the curse. -On going
Find someone that loves her, and whom she loves back. -On going

Spoiler:
 


Last edited by invadercristi on Sun Dec 12, 2010 2:08 pm; edited 5 times in total (Reason for editing : Added some more skills.)
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Phry

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PostSubject: Re: Solitario "Ghost" Maure   Fri Dec 10, 2010 1:57 pm

Ehh...where to begin..

Well, it's certainly an original prospect...

I can forsee some intereting RP situations, the most common that will probably occur will be:

"hi"

"no, i'm invisible"

"oh."



Last edited by Phry on Fri Dec 10, 2010 2:57 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Markka
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PostSubject: Re: Solitario "Ghost" Maure   Fri Dec 10, 2010 2:36 pm

Invisible girl who can't talk? Getting rid of the curse might be a little tricky like that. This is certainly an original prospect as Phru said, but... getting any sort of RP with a character like this might be very hard, eventually leading to boredom.

Your call, though. I'm going to withold my judgement until some admunchies shed a bit of light on the topic and until we file a few corners here and there.

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Phry

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PostSubject: Re: Solitario "Ghost" Maure   Fri Dec 10, 2010 2:57 pm

Yeah, gonna need one of the adminges to actually verify that this curse could actually happen.
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Xeloras
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PostSubject: Re: Solitario "Ghost" Maure   Fri Dec 10, 2010 2:59 pm

Like the others, I see a problem with this because there's hardly any RP to be gained from it. Without being able to talk or be seen, it makes it hard for us to be able to interact with her at all. Not to mention, to be able to break the curse without any instant methods of communication would be immensely difficult. I could see it being done through using the post wall, and sending people on a goosechase for other messages, but that would be difficult to RP, and how exactly can she draw if she can't see what she's doing? Until I see some more capabilities from this I'm going to have to give a deny. I'm sorry if I sound harsh, it's an original character, which is a rare thing, but I can't see her being capable of doing anything but watching.
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Psycheandromida
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PostSubject: Re: Solitario "Ghost" Maure   Fri Dec 10, 2010 3:19 pm

Admingebag reporting in.

First, I don't see why you would want a character that's only allowed to interact with another character in only two situations, if your character hugs them, or the other person is magic-sensitive and can detect her, most likely taking her for a spy or assassin, and then killing her.

Second, the invisibility is hard to evaluate because all the information is hidden away in the wall of text that is the back-story. I managed to look it over, and I don't like it, unless there's a magic-wielder around, she could roll through groups, backstabbing anyone she wants, and like I said, it's not easy to evaluate in wall-of-text format.
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Phry

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PostSubject: Re: Solitario "Ghost" Maure   Fri Dec 10, 2010 3:27 pm

To be fair this was easier to read than some.
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Munroe
DEAR GOD DON'T LOOK IN HIS EYES
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PostSubject: Re: Solitario "Ghost" Maure   Fri Dec 10, 2010 4:08 pm

I like this character, but I'm wondering how it would fit into the RP. I could use more information on the nature of the curse.
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Gambit

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PostSubject: Re: Solitario "Ghost" Maure   Fri Dec 10, 2010 4:19 pm

Haha, Amazon.com

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invadercristi

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PostSubject: Re: Solitario "Ghost" Maure   Fri Dec 10, 2010 4:20 pm

Psycheandromida wrote:
Admingebag reporting in.

First, I don't see why you would want a character that's only allowed to interact with another character in only two situations, if your character hugs them, or the other person is magic-sensitive and can detect her, most likely taking her for a spy or assassin, and then killing her.

Actually, you can see her if you make physical contact(If its close to your head so say... hand arm, shoulder, the head itself.), but you just wont be entirely invisible.

Munroe wrote:
I like this character, but I'm wondering how it would fit into the RP. I could use more information on the nature of the curse.

How it would fit in you say, well. Normally she would be walking around the forest, otherwise in the town stealing bread, and such. Otherwise in non-idle terms she would probably be following around where mischief is, and try to help those in need(Like say someone being mugged, and is unable to protect him/herself, and attempt to hide him/her untill the danger is gone.) Normally, she would be lawful but yeah... steals bread, and food... you get the point. But either way, after awhile she will probably fit in just fine when a certain amount of people know of her. I am though editing the Curse a small bit to add once another loophole... such as her shadow being visible.

Gambit wrote:
I think you need more reputation around here before you go making a character like this.

I understand your opinion, but if you are thinking that I would abuse this character... I don't even know how I could. geek



Last edited by invadercristi on Fri Dec 10, 2010 6:00 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Psycheandromida
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PostSubject: Re: Solitario "Ghost" Maure   Fri Dec 10, 2010 4:23 pm

I was exaggerating on the hug bit. Your explanation doesn't really help.
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Gambit

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PostSubject: Re: Solitario "Ghost" Maure   Fri Dec 10, 2010 4:24 pm

I think you need more reputation around here before you go making a character like this.

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Lt Streko

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PostSubject: Re: Solitario "Ghost" Maure   Fri Dec 10, 2010 8:23 pm

Interesting...
***Rubs goatee***
VERY interesting.
Very original. Me gusta.
I like I like
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Kain

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PostSubject: Re: Solitario "Ghost" Maure   Fri Dec 10, 2010 9:36 pm

geh.

I have to look through this at some point, but I'm not up to it right now.
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Kain

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PostSubject: Re: Solitario "Ghost" Maure   Sat Dec 11, 2010 4:52 am

From what I gathered, this curse doesn't eliminate any sounds she makes without having to use her voice. We could hear her footsteps, or if she clapped her hands or tapped something, etc. Heck, she could even whistle if she knew how.

In addition, the curse can't hide her presence in a visible medium. For instance, were she in water, her general shape would be visible.

Also, anything she touches turns invisible, but this doesn't extend to anything that touches an object she's touched. She could not hold a note and expect others to see it, bu she can write the note without touching it, and it would simply appear as if ink was magically being written into the note. Likewise, a glass of ale would look like floating ale, only the glass or mug itself would actually disappear.

Other physical characteristics, like her scent, or the wake of her movements, would also be present. Lastly, she would probably have extremely visible footprints, because her feet (I'm assuming she's probably barefoot) would be touching the ground, thus, a portion of the ground directly around here feet would appear to be not there, and as she moves, these sunken portions of the ground would disappear and reappear in pairs, moving in whatever direction she would.

Honestly, I don't have any problems with the character. I think she sounds interesting, but she's going to take a damn good roleplayer to be played properly. I request four things:

  • First, please clean up the profile a bit, and make it easier to read... Mostly, I'd like you to partition both the biography and the curse. The bio should be as-is, but just separated it into multiple paragraphs, please. The curse, if you don't mind, would be best expressed through a list bullet points for each facet and feature. Your "Tasks" section is also rather unorganized. Please fix it up, it's only a matter of putting each task on a new line.
  • Secondly, due to IC reasons, young characters can neither be experienced with magic, nor have a strong sense for it, or a powerful connection to the weave... it develops with age. So, I would like you to make some adjustments, and have this character's curse worsen with age, as curses often rely on the subject's sacred field, and this girl's field just wouldn't be very developed at her young age. The curse would have to slowly grow onto her.
  • Third, while there are many ways to run into this character, there just isn't anything convenient an easy that anyone can rely on. Please come up with a method that may, at random intervals, during any given time, regardless of conditions, allow a character to suddenly see Solitario. If you cannot, but would like to incorporate something like that, you may ask me and I'll give you several suggestions already in mind.
  • Finally, I'm afraid this character's "Sneak" cannot be perfect... the reason being is that stealth requires one to appear as if they don't exist and aren't there. This character takes invisibility to such extremes that she leaves too many suspicious clues, especially since she has no control over it... Please lower the skill level to 9 or 8 to match her imperfection.


Address all these things and I'll give this an accept. Oh, this last thing is not an actual request, but I think if


Last edited by Kain on Sat Dec 11, 2010 3:47 pm; edited 1 time in total
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invadercristi

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PostSubject: Re: Solitario "Ghost" Maure   Sat Dec 11, 2010 9:30 am

Kain wrote:
From what I gathered, this curse doesn't eliminate any sounds she makes without having to use her voice. We could hear her footsteps, or if she clapped her hands or tapped something, etc. Heck, she could even whistle if she knew how.

In addition, the curse can't hide her presence in a visible medium. For instance, were she in water, her general shape would be visible.

Also, anything she touches turns invisible, but this doesn't extend to anything that touches an object she's touched. She could not hold a note and expect others to see it, bu she can write the note without touching it, and it would simply appear as if ink was magically being written into the note. Likewise, a glass of ale would look like floating ale, only the glass or mug itself would actually disappear.

Other physical characteristics, like her scent, or the wake of her movements, would also be present. Lastly, she would probably have extremely visible footprints, because her feet (I'm assuming she's probably barefoot) would be touching the ground, thus, a portion of the ground directly around here feet would appear to be not there, and as she moves, these sunken portions of the ground would disappear and reappear in pairs, moving in whatever direction she would.

Honestly, I don't have any problems with the character. I think she sounds interesting, but she's going to take a damn good roleplayer to be played properly. I request four things:

  • First, please clean up the profile a bit, and make it easier to read... Mostly, I'd like you to partition both the biography and the curse. The bio should be as-is, but just separated it into multiple paragraphs, please. The curse, if you don't mind, would be best expressed through a list bullet points for each facet and feature. Your "Tasks" section is also rather unorganized. Please fix it up, it's only a matter of putting each task on a new line.
  • Secondly, due to IC reasons, young characters can neither be experienced with magic, nor a strong sense for it, or a powerful connection to the weave... it develops with age. So, I would like you to make some adjustments, and have this character's curse worsen with age, as curses often rely on the subject's sacred field, and this girl's field just wouldn't be very developed at her young age. The curse would have to slowly grow onto her.
  • Third, while there are many ways to run into this character, there just isn't anything convenient an easy that anyone can rely on. Please come up with a method that may, at random intervals, during any given time, regardless of conditions, allow a character to suddenly see Solitario. If you cannot, but would like to incorporate something like that, you may ask me and I'll give you several suggestions already in mind.
  • Finally, I'm afraid this character's "Sneak" cannot be perfect... the reason being is that stealth requires one to appear as if they don't exist and aren't there. This character takes invisibility to such extremes that she leaves too many suspicious clues, especially since she has no control over it... Please lower the skill level to 9 or 8 to match her imperfection.


Address all these things and I'll give this an accept. Oh, this last thing is not an actual request, but I think if

Its all updated now Razz Thankyou for the tips.
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Psycheandromida
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PostSubject: Re: Solitario "Ghost" Maure   Sun Dec 12, 2010 7:17 pm

The character has improved, and I assume you know how difficult this will be to roleplay casually. Unless anyone has anything else to say, this is getting approved.
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Kain

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PostSubject: Re: Solitario "Ghost" Maure   Mon Dec 13, 2010 3:45 pm

go 'head and approve her.

Though, lol, you messed up the bullet points. I think you're missing a
    and
at the start and end of the points.
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