Gnomes In Your Home?

Quote :

Wilfred's Weekly Whittle

Gnomes In Your Home?

14th December

Look to your left, dear reader, then look to your right. Then look up, then look down. Chances are, you didn't see any gnomes. HOWEVER, statistics show that you just saw atleast one hidden gnome.

Yes, that's right, studies in the local province of Surna households concluded that atleast one in every two houses had over five hidden gnomes, and nine in ten houses had atleast one gnome hiding out.

Shocked? We at the Whittle were even more-so. The idea of a filthy little Gnome touching our things shocked us considerably. Quickly, we worked to devise a solution.

After speaking with an expert on the matter, we are proud to say the only tried and true method of ridding your humble abode of these mischievous merry-makers was to scent your home with Shruteroot.

However, Shruteroot does not grow in Surna locally, and has to be acquired specially from sea-side caves along the Sword Coast.

Never fear, dear readers, for we have ample Shruteroot for all - at one low price!

A great Gnome-preventing gift for friends!

Order now - you can't afford Gnot to be Gnome free!


Delivery details:
Mail a piece of parchment with the quantity in ounces of your desired amount of Shruteroot to
33 Surna High Street, Wilfred Publishing Co.
Your order should be ready to collect the next day.


We at the Whittle would like to note that statisics used may or may not be fabricated. This does not impair the effectiveness of our product.




Next week's featured article:
Goblins, Gnomes, Grickles - Knowing the difference between them could save your life!

I would never have gnown.

Amazing.

A DOZEN POUNDS OF SHRUTETHORN, MY GOOD MAN. Those gnomes are going to SUFFOCATE.

Next week's article has goblins, must read.

And Grickles.

The hell is a grickle?

OHOHOHO YOU'LL HAVE TO WAIT TILL NEXT WEEK DEAR READER.

<.< >.> i dont see any gn- wait FUCK THERES ONE

shrutethorn is now shruteroot cuz it ryhmes.

Just go to the Inn to see a goblin make your dinner, ain't too hard to tell the difference if you've seen Noddy and Gah stand next to eachother.

Btw, is the last name of this author "Brimley"?

Also lol, Surna High street, nice.

Has anyone else noticed that going by Aeria's history and lore, gnomes aren't that prone to be tiny brilliant inventors? They're primarily short, stupid and prone to asspulling.

And prone to mess up your stuff. And punted shortly afterwards.

Stealing our underwear.

Psycheandromida wrote:

Has anyone else noticed that going by Aeria's history and lore, gnomes aren't that prone to be tiny brilliant inventors? They're primarily short, stupid and prone to asspulling.

Yes, I knew that.

I did.

I swear I did.

Psycheandromida wrote:

Has anyone else noticed that going by Aeria's history and lore, gnomes aren't that prone to be tiny brilliant inventors? They're primarily short, stupid and prone to asspulling.

oh sweet lord it's true