Words of a Mute - The Journal of Cole Simmons

Entry 1
Surna, The Guard House
2.22.30 ER

I've decided to write to myself and get my thoughts out, if only for my mind's sake. Lately, it's been hard to think calmly. Being a guard is harder than you'd thing. It's not the duties that are hard, or the training, I find those all easy to manage. Standing still for hours at times does get boring, but still, that's not the problem.

Some of the public doesn't like the guard... Why? Because of the things we have to do... Someone helped me from a woman that seemed to have issues with being helped- After I tried escorting her out, she flipped out and tried beating me to a pulp. Nice of her, it was. A vampire, odd as it sounds, was the one that came to offer me help, and I was grateful, though I couldn't voice it.

Again, I met this same vampire on the roof of the guard house, it seemed he was trying to listen in on the Captain's conversation with the governor, Mr. Hook. I tried asking him to come down and not stay by the guard house, citizens aren't supposed to listen in on those conversations, obviously. He grew rather hostile, so I led him away and went to retrieve a silver utensil. Despite being a guard, he wouldn't listen, so I had to enforce him through a small show of force- poking him with a silver fork. Now, it seems he has a grudge against me, as many others most likely do.

Today, the same vampire had gone into a bloodlust. I wasn't sure what to do, I didn't want to kill him, but I had no non-lethal weapons that could stop a vampire. Whatever the fight was, it seemed personal, and I was at a loss as to if I should interfere or not. All I could do was keep other third parties from entering a fight not theirs. It would have been much easier if I could have asked what was going on. Sadly, one with my handicap does not have that luxury.

One of the people involved, clearly grateful, said something about how he was doing the guard's job for them, this one was 'Zaku Daikun,' I believe, a former guard himself. After calling myself and another fellow guard, Quinney, 'Thorn Clones,' he seemed to take matters into his own hands.. I went to open up the jail cell, as told and.... waited. No one came. I went to check on the group.. they had all huddled into the tavern, going about their business, holding the vampire 'Marcus' at bay- he had calmed down after taking the blood of the one named Zaku after his capture.

It's very hard to be good and right when both of those things are rarely present. In my short time as a recruit, I've only seen confusion. I hope things will get better. I hope things will get better, and the Guard's name in Surna will be redeemed. Trying to do your job and instead being met with accusation after accusation, misunderstanding after misunderstanding, unable to say otherwise, it's rather distressing. If only father were with me.. everyone would listen to him, even if he was half their size...Well, until then, Journal.

-Cole Simmons.


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^^ thats an OOC line, btw.

Yeah, so, yeah. Journal. Some of you were mentioned.

Entry 2
Surna, Outskirts
2.24.30 ER

Dear Diary,

Orcs attacked today. Can you believe it? They actually organized themselves enough for an attack. One broke my neck- and for all intents and purposes, I should have been dead. Thankfully, a healer found me in time and mended it... I've only been so close to death a few times. Somehow, I managed not to cry. That's good, I guess, that's the kind of thing men are supposed to do, and I guess I'm considered a "man" now.

Still.. dying, it's a scary thing. I didn't cry, but I definitely wanted to. And of course, I couldn't scream... but I wanted to do that, too. Even writing about it now, it's tough. My hands jitter every few sentences. But enough about that.

The orcs were tough. I put five bullets through one, and six through another, but they kept moving. Eventually, they bled out. The one that thought it killed me definitely did, a dagger and wakizashi through the neck would definitely do that. The guard was having some trouble... until Garth, and some man in a cloak showed up. Garth squeezed the life out of one, and the other literally flattened an orc in mush. I could hardly tell, I was lying limp in some crates, but the orcs seemed to drop dead, one by one.. we might have killed all of them, I'm not too sure.

Before that, we were trying to hold a trial.. a young woman, a girl that went by 'Alice Uri,' accused a fellow guardsmen of rape. Joseph, the accused, has had a strange record as it is. He doesn't seem so bad in person, but somehow, he always manages to get into trouble, and I think he has a temper problem too. After the attack, the trial was postponed. The Kazuth girl that had tried to beat me up did the same to Joseph. I guess she lives for beating people up. Seeing the Captain put handcuffs on her was a guilty pleasure, though, one I will cherish for a while.

Still, to think that the corruption in the guard could spread as far as to new recruits. Sometimes I feel like Garth and I are the only honest and competent guards. But I envy Garth; he has something I don't: someone to speak for him. I worry about the child inside that giant, though. I wonder if she ever gets to move? Oh well...

Zaku Daikun was freed yesterday, with a few bruises, I suppose. That's what I was told, at least. He's not so bad, but I don't agree with how he does things. How he attracts women is a mystery among mysteries, as well. But ignoring that... back to the topic of rape. The victim, as told by miss Uri, was supposedly Ariel Daikun, my Lieutenant, and Zaku's daughter. She's been paralyzed from the waste down, which is a shame.. I heard a lot of good things about her. The Captain's nice, but I was hoping to work with her instead. So much for that. And now, this accusation of rape... Honestly, I hope it's all a big, fat lie. I don't much care for Joseph, but I'd rather not throw him in a prison cell... more importantly, I honestly hope Ariel wasn't raped. She's paralyzed, and that's bad enough already, how could someone do something like that to her? I hope to the gods it's all a lie. I hope to all the gods that it's some sick cyranic lie.

Well, time will tell. I wish I knew where Ariel was right now. I'm strange, worrying about people I hardly know. Father would laugh at me, I think. But not in a bad way. I don't know, diary. Even as a guard, I guess I can't save everybody. But as long as I'm around, I might as well keep trying. It looks like it's going to rain, so I'll be heading back, probably to bed. Goodnight, Diary.

-Cole Simmons


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Phew, long one. Trying to get Cole's thoughts straight is kind of tough.

Entry 3
Surna, Eastern Watchtower
2.28.30 ER

Dear Diary,

As I lay here, staring at the stars, I believe I've come to understand why the Guard has become the way it has... Each day, I patrol the city and do my duty as best as I can. Since hardly any of my other comrades do, I try to make up for them. Sometimes, I think I go too far, but if that weren't the case, I'd simply not be going far enough, and not doing my job... Regardless, everyday, I patrol or stand guard, and often times, something strange or suspicious will come along. Usually, it's something that's easy to sort out, or nothing at all. But no matter what the scenario, my participation is never welcome.

There are plenty of ways to tell, too. I've written about the 'Thorn-Drone' insult before... It can really get to you, you know, even for such a simple name. It makes me out to be some tool, something I know I'm not. It also implies I'm corrupt and uncaring, things I certainly aren't. Beyond the simple name-calling, everyone is always seeing the Guard for its wrongs and never its rights. Furthermore, any time I am doing my job or otherwise trying to help, it's still tossed aside or easily forgotten. It doesn't help much that I'm mute, and only sixteen. Can you believe it, Diary? The girl I tried to move out of the bar that one night, she came and apologized and said she was sorry. She even hugged me. Yet, come next morning, she calls me a Thorn-Drone and ignores me. Sure, I wasn't helping her, or going against her, but at least I was doing my job, and again, I was condemned for it.

Well, I thought it over, Diary, and I think I get it. I've started not caring... I've started losing interest in protecting citizens and upholding the laws. The only thing thing worth looking forward to was a meager pay from the Captain and the occasional adventure, and even those are losing their charm. When it came down to it, all I'm defending are people that hate and curse me and my name. Talking sense into them does no good, the insults will continue to be hurled until they run out of breath... It's become hopeless trying to convince them to look at things in another light. Being a guard is a losing battle. With that in mind, I propose myself the question of "Is it even worth staying in the guard?"

And that's when it hit me... this city is killing itself. The Guard may be corrupt, the but the people are just as worse. If I gave up now, someone would further condemn the guard for their weakness. If I remain, and allow myself to become apathetic of this world, I will be deemed corrupt. And yet, if I try to stay true to myself and bring the justice and balance father would have wanted, I will end up sacrificing any potential happiness I currently have.

Thus far, I've chosen to stay my course, but I can already tell that I'm losing my old life to it. I don't want to live this way, Diary. At least when I ran free, even when most people ignored me, I could find someone like me and run with them. Sometimes, they were even... special... in that way. But now, what more am I than another Guard's tabard? An object to be blamed and hated, and isolated.

As I sit and stare at the stars, Diary, I wonder if that will ever change. It's no fun being alone. No fun at all.


-Cole Simmons


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Kinda random entry, but I figured I'd write something up. Bleh, I'm tired, so if you see errors, that's why.

Entry 3
Surna, Guard House
2.30.30 ER

Dear Diary,

I witnessed something incredible today. Someone actually turned themselves in for a crime- murder, even. Alexander Munroe, the blacksmith that carries around all those swords, he turned himself in for accidentally killing Joseph Blacke. Granted how much dislike Joseph managed to incite, I'm not wholly sure if it was just an accident, but if he was willing to turn himself in... I still have to look into the witnesses, too. I'm pretty sure the punishment for this is execution, but he might get out easier if it's proven to be an accident. I'd hate to say it, but the fact that it was Joseph might make a difference, too. It's impossible to be sure of anything right now.

And then, there's... Alyssa... his sister. I doubt she'll take this well... Ella, too. Come to think of it, I don't know how Ella winded up with them... regardless, I should see to allowing Alex some visitors, they're probably going to want to see him soon. Heh, there's some food for thought for ya. If you got yourself in jail, who would visit you? Me? Hm... don't know of anyone, actually. I guess I won't know for sure until I try it.

I should really learn not to wander in my own thoughts... can't be healthy. Well, where was I? Ah.. I guess someone has to tell Alyssa, and of course, that means I'm going to end up doing it. I hope she doesn't blow up at me for doing my job... I seem to be using that phrase a lot, lately, too. "For doing my job." Damn, it's starting to get old... I really hope she doesn't blame me, too.

**The last portion is written somewhat hastily**

Can't write anymore. Going to bed. Goodnight, Diary.

-Cole Simmons

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Somewhat major event warrants diary entry